How vain and conceited my spirit has grown
Shamelessly pleading for this pathetic dream;
The chance to earn and deserve true love,
A heart to soothe the damaged soul inside of me.
Years of drinking, depression, and endless rejection,
My insignificance being shoved in my face,
Finally shattered and reshaped my mind--
Forcing a sadistic psyche to take its place.
Secretly yearning for my soul to be seen
Before invisibility succeeds in enveloping me,
My dying heart dares to hope for the dream
Blind to the impending crash to reality
After the fantasy has ensnared me:
I could be someone of worth;
The depths of my flaws drag me down through the ground
Binding my soul to its place in the dirt.
Broken and defeated--
I weakly relinquish my dream
Of being able to hold another heart.
Instead-- my destiny is as a fleeting memory
Forgotten the moment I departed.
© Cayla West
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